"Someone who eats guacamole 10 days a week," Ben Sladowsky, Fenway Cantina.
"Me! I eat it for dinner in a bowl with a spoon and no chips," Cheryl Martins, Rhode Island.
"My fiance. She can't go past the avocados in the store without buying any," Paul Lurie, Brighton.
"I am the poster child," Chef Brian Poe, Poe's Kitchen at the Rattlesnake.
"Me. I came out of the womb holding a bowl of guacamole," Skyler Kelemen, Nacho Patrol.
"Someone who fills up their chip 90 percent with guacamole," Chelsee Adams, We Are Not Martha.
Green, gushy, creamy and chunky. This is what the insides of many Bostonians looks like tonight. Well, at least for those who survived Guacaholics Anonymous. There may be countless people receiving post-traumatic-guacamole-stress treatment in the IGU (intensive guacamole unit) due to overconsumption of this Aztec aphrodisiac.
The first, of what many hope will be an annual event, Guacaholics Anonymous, orchestrated by local food wizard @EatBoston (aka Aaron Cohen) was held at Fenway Cantina -the perfect venue for a guacfest.
For just $10, participants were cut loose to indulge on endless samples of guacamole compliments of eight local restaurants and seven amateur guac-chefs -and one hell of a potent margarita.
Guacaholics had a hard time picking favorites, but among the mostly-mentioned were Ole's fruit guacamole, Chef Brian Poe's gourmet concoction and a "Cowboy Caviar" by amateurs Molly Wyman, Skyler Kelemen and Andi Skaalrud.
Sho Balkian, 25, of East Boston, who was participating in the event with Leighann Farrelly, 29, of Cambridge, (better known as Yelp Boston), says guacamole like Poe's is the wave of the guac-future.
"Guacamole is like hummus," Balkian says. "Hummus is the balance between tahini, garlic and chic peas. But then people started experimenting with roasted red peppers and sun-dried tomatoes - and now everyone is buying flavored hummus. This is going to happen with guacamole too. It's going to be the next hummus craze."
Chef Poe's popular guacamole was loaded with strawberries, mountain mint, basil, plums and cherries, and served with a dash of smoked Mexican sea salt. Poe, who calls himself the "poster child" for the dictionary definition of a "guacaholic" isn't into simple guacamole. He loves to push the limits and try new things. The most inventive guacamole from his kitchen yet? "Foie gras and goat cheese guacamole," he says with a mischievous smile.
For amateur guac-chefs Katie Ducharme and Cheryl Martins of Rhode Island, loading up guacamole with a bunch of ingredients means "obscuring" the avocado. They try to keep their recipe as "virgin" as possible, though they admit they've played around with tequila-guacamole.
Fenway Cantina's Ben Sladowsky also believes in purist guacamole -though he has made it at home with lump crab. "Traditional guacamole with the freshest flavors of roasted jalapenos gives it a nice, hot and fiery yet sweet taste," he says.
Susie Anderson, 27 and Chelsee Adams, 26, of We Are Not Martha also lean toward more traditional guacamole. Their recipe called for bacon, which was the only non-vegetarian guacamole selection. Other than the bacon, what made theirs different? It was super-chunky.
"We don't like it pureed like baby food," Anderson says.
After sampling all 15 guacamole recipes, I staggered out of Fenway Cantina in a total guacoma. Full Belly? Check. Happy Heart? Check. But, the four avocados I just bought at Trader Joe's might get passed off on a neighbor.